The 2009 CMT Fiasco…ummm….I mean Award Show….

Someone oughta consider putting a warning on next year’s CMT Awards. This year’s broadcast was dangerous to my mental health, at one point even having me missing the good old days of Shania Twain and Faith Hill. That just isn’t right folks.

It came as no surprise to me when my friend informed me (after I unloaded a long, passionate rant about the lack of class throughout the evening) that CMT and MTV are owned by the same company. It was exactly like the MTV Awards come to think of it — sensationalistic and without any real substance, only tonight’s show was hokier. I suppose that’s the token country influence?”

Let me summarize the evening for you, but please take note that there are moments when the pain of watching was too much and I simply blacked out.

1. The night began with a red carpet show. Ummm original? Not. The outfits? Worse than unoriginal. The winner of the Worst Dressed? Kelly Pickler. Hands down. Hair. Dress. Makeup. Yup.

2. Worst sexual innuendo of the evening was a tie — Kid Rock and his Cobra and Toby Keith and his Donkey. If you have to ask, just relish in the fact that you know nothing more. It would give you nightmares.

3. Isn’t it about time Nashville produced shows hire competent sound crews for these things?

4. And while I’m on the topic of hiring….who is the brain that paired off the presenters. Vicky the Cougar? Allison Krauss and Ted Nugent? Poor Allison looked extremely uncomfortable. Having Bill O’Reilly on stage at all, is a big mistake – let along pairing him with Naomi Judd on a country music award show. I mean….really.

5. I  love Alan Jackson who had the epitome of class and the audacity of hope to show up in jeans and a cowboy hat amidst sequins and glitter.

6. Can someone explain the appeal of Taylor Swift to me that doesn’t include “OMG She’s the Best!” in their description.

7. Whoever the heck decided that old, retired to pasture rockers should influence an impressionable group of wannabe country stars for the next generation oughta be sent on a duck hunting trip with Cheney.

8. Best musical moment of the night? Watching kd lang sing Hallelujah on YouTube as Sugarland and B52s mouthed the words of their song silently on my television screen.

I need to stop now, the process of recalling the show is proving too painful but here’s the last word:

If I NEVER see Taylor Swift again on my TV screen it will be too soon.

And lest we should forget and if  anyone be wondering what I consider to be a country music video worth awarding:

One Response to “The 2009 CMT Fiasco…ummm….I mean Award Show….”

  1. How can you not think Taylor Swift is totally awesome? She fuses mindless Nashville pablum with banal AAA and teenybopper music so wonderfully.

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